Honesty

Simply making

Been in the studio making today.

It was such a gift!! 

I am so lucky to have this space and I am so applauding myself for carving out the time, for putting my creative practice over and above everything else. The eternal goddamn list can wait and even the kids can get to the back of the attention queue!

I felt totally at ease - not rushed at all - in fact I was delighting in the process so much I wanted to eek out each and every gluey papery sculptural second. The process was reminding me of pieces I made at uni using similar materials - images, lens tissue, text and glue, multi layered hanging screens.

Even today’s debris was good. I totally loved the accdidental paper curlings and how they landed on the floor. I thought to myself - ‘this is honest, this is how it is, this is how things have landed for me’ and ‘this was necessary’ - I needed to make this ‘mess’ to be able to arrive at the clarity - the clear blank screen!!

Just for today it felt as though the pressure had been released..

Instead of agonising over what my practice is and who it’s for, the only thing to do was make! And with the pressure released the next wave of creative thoughts came. This creative space that I have been so craving led me to think about the next iteration of ‘Nest’ (I don’t even like the title but turns out this is definitely what it’s called) and how I could use this papery technique around the bound ‘nest’ as a 3D projection surface!

But for now back to THIS papery screen…

I’m really excited to try projecting onto it, to see the quality of the paper’s layered fibrous textures and to find out how the projected light sits on the surface and/or passes through. I know that I want this piece to work live and to include layers - colours and textures shifting and changing. I know that I want it to include an option for live text and that I want to be able to open it up to contributions from others.

My questions are:

• How might I open this work up to others?

• What will I project onto the screen?

• What is honest for me?

• What is honesty?

Notes on ‘Honesty’

A plant that has an incredibly fragile and beautiful seed casing comprised of several layers of translucent material that falls away to release the seed!

Honesty is definitely something that lends itself to being explored through layers. As one thing comes up as honest and true, let the surface casing fall and something potentially more honest may be waiting beneath. It is a moving and shifting game played over time - what is honest for me today maybe not stand up tomorrow. What I cannot bear to sit with today may begin to emerge at some point in the future?

Fakery and dishonesty abound. Things are often not what they seem! People present false versions of themselves that become inhabited as the real thing. Seems so sad to waste a life’s energy holding up the mask - so much is denied and lost, disconnected, dislocated through this approach to life.

For me the continuing search for vibrant realness is on!

Next steps:

• Test the tech - link the iPad as a layer so that live writing and interactivity are possible

• Locate / make textured backgrounds - see what emerges as honest content!

• Projection mapping - experiment to find out how to pick out and define ‘Honesty’ so that it stands out from its background

• High quality photos of screen plus content > further work